"Escuse me sir"

As an opening note: I absolutely refuse to discuss Indian bathrooms. No one needs to be subjected t that. Just know that they are an experience.
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I wandered through the streets of Srinagar, and reached the top of a hill, where 14-year-old smoker Suleiman called to me from his (green) mosque.

He spoke Urdu, and no English. I spoke English, and no Urdu. We became friends immediately. (How did I know he was 14? It took about 30 minutes and a LOT of mime). I offered him bread. He brought me on a hike up the mountain.

Of course, I had some concerns about climbing a mountain in a region where tourists used to be beheaded, but pushed those bad thoughts out of my head quickly.

Tara, upon my return to Delhi, said that climbing up a mountain in Kashmir with an anonymous person who summoned me from a mosque may not have been the most intelligent move. She may been a bit more blunt:
"You f&@#ing idiot! How stupid can you be?????"

At the end of the hike, I let Suleiman rifle through my daypack. He asked me for my iPod. I said no. He made a very strong argument by pocketing it. I made a very strong argument by pointing to the mosque and saying "Allah!". Seriously, WWAS? (What would Allah Say?) Eventually he relented, and said "camera?", that was another debate. He gave that one up too, but not without pointing to my watch. I bargained him down to 100 rupees and a bag of chips.
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The city is filled with (Indian) tourists (not one western tourist) and "Touts" harassing those tourists. They all call after me, some will try different languages. A surprising amount will follow me for blocks. I learn, over the course of my time in Srinagar, to walk in a determined manner, even when I was just wandering. I learn to ignore, pretend to not speak English or Hindi or anything. And finally, to yell at the assholes who just would not stop asking me if I had a hotel, or if I wanted a houseboat for ONLY 200 rupees (4$)!
Common quotes from the Touts:
"excuse me sir, you have place to stay?"
"Where you from?.. Canada? Lots of Canadians at my houseboat!"
"Taxi/ Shikara!"
"Hohtel/ Houseboat!"
"My friend"
"I am trustworthy, those others are not!"
and my favourite
"Hey, do you remember me? We met last (day/week) in (Delhi/Mughal gardens)"
 [Another one that I've heard in Delhi: "I'm a student, can I practice my English with you?"]
Seriously, you have to be really dumb... These 'openers' were never ever stated only once. They must assume that all tourists are deaf. And they all have the best deal, for real!, just ask any of them. I never knew that every single person in a city could have the BEST deal. As Tara said, in India you must embrace contradictions. I notice, as travel continues, that "Contradictions" are actually a theme.
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I succumbed to a shikara boat person. He was 85 years old, I couldn't say no. He rowed and rowed and showed me around the lake. He told me about how before partition, in 1947, he owned a houseboat. Because of the war that ensued between Pakistan and India over Kashmir, his family had to sell the boat to survive. He has been rowing ever since. It started to rain, I gave him my poncho. Then, after it kept raining and he looked increasingly uncomfortable, I asked him if he could row from under the cover of where I was seated. He did.

It made me feel a bit better about the situation...  What's the difference between him and I? I was born into lucky conditions, he was born into unlucky conditions, and now when he should be retired, he's rowing for me... After 2 hours around the lake, we found what seemed like the last lotus flower of the season (good luck?). He plucked it before I could tell him not to. It was dead before the next morning.

I could see that he was struggling near the end of the boat ride, and I asked him if I could try rowing (partially because I wanted to, partially because I hated the idea that a man the same age as my grandfather was working his ass off to row some spoiled westerner around a lake so that he could eat). We rowed the last hour together (way harder than it looks) (WAY harder than it looks).

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This is Lal Chowk market. A day after this was taken, a grenade blew up. I am a lucky individual. (See earlier post for link to news story)...

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In the great bagel wars, Montreal, Toronto and New York battle it out to the death. Little do they know, that another contender has clandestinely entered the battle and has possibly been making these delicious bagel-type-things since before any of those cities existed.

(Second bagel-related posting of the blog)

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I spent my last night in Srinagar at a fancy hotel, watching HBO and eating Chin-dian food. I had escaped the houseboat and needed to feel safe. I locked the ONE door.

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Oh yeah, the parts of Srinagar that aren't covered in army bases or ads or hotels or that are filled with ""Touts", can be quite beautiful. (on average, there would be a road block or army base every 100 metres throughout Srinagar)

other parts are truly representative of what the political situation has done to the economy. These are pictures of a 5 star hotel that I snuck past reception to photograph:

 

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To get on the plane out of Kashmir, my bags went through an x-ray machine 3 times. I was frisked 3 times. After the third frisk, I decided to walk around with my arms and legs spread, figuring that it would happen again (just kidding). The contents of every passenger's carry-on were emptied out and rifled through thoroughly. Also, soldiers are like monkeys; a foreign object causes them to stare in confusion and show to other monkeys that object while scratching heads. The object in question? Bright green medical gauze. Seriously. I noticed while on the plane that my swiss card (with knife, scissors, etc.) was still in my wallet. I went through a total of 10 levels of security/checks.... Monkeys...

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A few days later, I sat in Delhi at the IIC (Internation Club of sorts). Kirti (Tara's mom) mentioned the security guards floating around the place because of the governor of Kashmir seated a few tables over. I had the urge to tell him what I thought about the state of his State. I decided against it... Instead, I tell you:

Don't go. It's not worth it.