Yiddish Curses

1. "You should drink too much castor oil"

2. "Go bang your head against a wall"

3. "Go threaten the bedbugs!"

4. "You should have 100 houses, in every house 100 rooms, and in every room 20 beds, and a delirious fever should drive you from bed to bed"

5. "You should be transformed into a chandelier. By day you should hang, and by night you should burn!"

6. "You should have a sweet death- a wagon full of sugar should run over you."

7. "You should lose all your teeth except one, and that one should have a toothache."

8. "Onions should grow from your bellybutton."

Beverly Hills

I had lunch with Uncle Neil in West Hollywood, and we wandered into a store called the Boddhi Tree, got some tips on India. I then went on a walk (in L.A!)

As I wandered through Beverly Hills, I found a tree that I desperately wanted to climb, 

but decided against it when an (elderly?) woman drove by and looked at me funny. At least, I think she looked at me funny, I couldn't tell because it was Beverly Hills, where most people have made at least one visit here:

I kept wandering, and slowly discovered that Montreal has invaded Beverly Hills,

also, can anyone tell me if there are any bagel shops on St. Urbain, and I'm pretty sure that St. Urbain is an avenue not a street, correct me if I'm wrong:

they didn't look very Montreal to me. In fact, they looked kinda Toronto.

As I kept wandering, seeing all that Rodeo drive has to offer, I started wondering about the meaning of life, family, etc. I realized that I was not quite satisfied with the way things were going, all I needed was a sign:

That was it, Mormonism was the key. So I entered the temple

and converted.

...

Who is this guy?

After a long, harrowing day of walking, plastic surgery, conversion, and bagels, I hopped on a bus up the hill through Westwood and UCLA, and took a nap by the pool.

Life is tough...

Towel

I actually bought a towel today. Felt like that needed to be mentioned. Its orange, and ultralight, and absorbs 8 times more than a normal towel, and is super small.

Wow.

Stupid Ads make me angry

This isn't funny, or witty, or anything. Waste of space.

Grumble.

(somewhere in L.A.)

The New York Post

Written fast, and impatiently, and with no attention to proper grammar. Like New York.

New York is aggressive. You gotta feel paranoid everywhere you go. If not allot, at least a little. Its rushed. Even in the park we walked with purpose (silly). Everytime I go, I keep being reminded of one thing:
I need to be in New York.

Spent time with Ezra and Ariel, awesome.

Then slept for 18 hours, woke up 6pm monday night with many missed calls from Everett. Hung out at a random bar near Grand Central. Crazy waitress stole my 2002 new yorker magazine with a great Arthur Miller short story called "The Performance"; you should read it. At least I think she stole it, either way, I lost it sometime that evening.

Ariel C (C, for cousin) drove me home, told me story about the time that he could've been arrested for driving the opposite way on a one-way in manhattan... comforting.

Tuesday I had lunch with Uncle Patrick and Therese, they convinced me to go to India. Thats where I'm going. Will stick to the north until it gets too cold.

Following that, met with Ms. Ariel Rosen Brown, and then Mr. Eric Weiss,

and then Ms. Emily Goodman in a centrally located park. 

Mr. Je(n)ssen then joined us at the corner of 54(?)th/5th,

where Ariel RB (Damn, there are 2 Ariel Rs in this post) put me in the arms of a stranger, who then charged me 3$ for what seemed like a pleasurable experience for everyone but me. Thanks Miss Rosen-Brown, for paying a third of that photo-op,

and for then putting up with the camera flash in your face every 2 seconds.

We then ate mexican and I chatted with a stranger (New York is nice that way, in LA, you chat with a stranger and they roll up the window to their oversized SUV, maybe I should shave?). Ariel C joined us, and we all enjoyed our 3$ margheritas thoroughly.

Its nice to be surrounded by friends. Its nice to know the friends who you'll have forever.

Thanks to the CAFE family for consistently being so laid back, welcoming, and wonderful. Wednesday involved more park, more Patrick, more Rosen Brown, more Jessen, more Goodman, and a lil' Mel T (shout out).

Wow, Mel T, daymn. What a drunk. She drunk 4 beers before we even got to dat bar! Phew! Must miss Tara (me too).

I then dragged everyone to two boots in brooklyn (even though they're now all over the city). Its a happy place. For real.

The last time I was there was 16 years ago. I once made my grandparents wait for an hour for a table (You could watch the guy making the pie! Come'on!) Everett got so sick of me being happy that he bought me a t-shirt. We scoured brooklyn for karaoke, gave up, and said our farewells. I then crashed at Emily's, where we talked about life and love, a common theme of conversation throughout the weekend.
...

Drowsy 6am wakeup, wandered to subway, thought was going wrong way, then thought would miss plane, then was starving at JFK, then got on plane, and was almost fooled into paying 8$ to watch a movie. Don't fly Virgin. (New Slogan)

Wow, sanitized weak memory of events... I will write blogs more currently from now on...

Quote of the day

"What should I do first, eat breakfast or drop a deuce?"

-Ezra

...

classy

thought of the day

The easy part is doing what we want. The hard part is figuring out exactly what that is...